Movie Madness: Kung Pow

Jess and I love the movie Kung Pow and we tend to quote it at random quite often.  As a result we made some Kung Pow inspired Feats, and Equipment.  Keep in mind none of this is supposed to be balance and it is really subject to your GM’s approval!

Feats

And then he killed the dog [Combat]
Requirements: None
Benefit:  Once a day you may fart, any canine creature within 5 feet must make a fortitude save DC 10 plus your level or die.

Beware of his song about big butts [Combat]
Requirements: None
Benefit:  If “Baby got back” is playing you get a +2 to attack and damage.  You cannot be the person who started the song, nor can you ask another person to play it.

If you girls are done kissing [Combat]
Requirements: None
Benefit:  You gain a +1 to attack and damage for each round you allow your enemy to discuss their fight with you.  You must be present for the discussion (but do not need to hear exactly what they are saying) and may not make the first attack.  You only get the benefit for rounds you are present for their discussion.  You retain this benefit for the entire combat.

Iron Claws hurt like hell [Combat]
Requirements: Proficient with Iron Claws
Benefit: If you hit an opponent with Iron Claws they also take a point of Constitution damage.

It will be significant [Combat]
Requirements: Chosen One
Benefit: Once a day you may maximize the damage done by an attack, you can do this at any point before damage is recorded.

My Nuts to Your Fist [Style]
Requirements: None
Benefit:  You may voluntarily be hit by any attack, you think you are winning as a result.
Nice man with happy feelings all the time [General]
Requirements: Any evil alignment
Benefit:  You detect as both good and evil to any effect which determines your alignment.

One Clean Chunk [Combat]
Requirements: Chosen One, Improved Unarmed Strike
Benefit:  If you hit an un-armored opponent with an unarmed critical they must make a fortitude save versus the damage dealt, if they fail a large piece of their midsection is removed in one clean chunk, they become unable to act for one round after which they die.

Play Me Like a Drum [General]
Requirements: Perform (Percussion) 3 ranks
Benefits: As long as another person is within five feet you can use them in place of a percussion instrument.  This is not an attack and does not provoke attacks of opportunity, you cannot inflict damage this way in order to get the benefit.  If the target is unwilling to let you play them like a drum you must succeed at a touch attack in order to do so.  If damage would be caused by striking an opponent with an unarmed attack you cannot play them as a drum.

Shirt Ripper [Combat]
Requirements: Improved Unarmed Strike
Benefit:  If you hit an opponent who is wearing a mundane shirt (not armor) with an unarmed strike you may sunder that shirt.

Stop it that Hurts [General]
Benefit: You may touch an ally in a spot where they have been previously injured.  You inflict additional damage up to the amount the ally was previously injured and gain a morale bonus to attack and damage equal to the damage dealt for three rounds.  The ally must allow you to touch them but you don’t have to tell them why.

That’s a lot of nuts [Combat]
Requirements: Animal Handling 5 ranks
Benefit: If you promise a squirrel a pound of nuts and make a DC 15 animal handling check you may negate a critical hit made against you.  This may be at any point in the future but you may only have one squirrel with you at a time, this squirrel travels with you until then.

Up and Over! [General]
Requirements: Acrobatics 1
Benefits:  You can roll twice for jump checks to jump a wall.

We are Both Ventriloquists [Teamwork]
Requirements: Perform (Ventriloquism) 1 Rank
Benefit:  No one can tell who is talking you or an ally that also has this feat within 30’.  You must practice for an hour each day to gain the benefit.

Items
Tiny Net
Cost:
 5 GP
The only way to escape the tiny net is to reverse the capture method moving physically backwards to a point where you had not been captured by the tiny net.
Neo na na na na Sporin na na na na na
Cost:
 15 GP
You suffer no risk of disease or infection from an injury.

Traits
Chosen One
You bear the mark of infinite wisdom.

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